Always
by CrystalSaffron
Summary: Season 6 Buffy Season 2? Angel. AU storyline. Angel gets shot by a poison arrow and then someone comes to help him. LAST CHAPTER
1. Chapter 1: The Yearbook

Title: Always  
  
Rating: PG-13 (as of now)  
  
Summary: Season 3 angel/ Season 6 Buffy. AU. After Buffy's "death" and "rebirth" angel get's hit by a poision arrow and what will he do once he finds out that he's dying and Buffy's alive?  
  
Distribution: To my first reviewers on my first *posted* fanfic. (I have written others I just haven't posted them all) Especially KellyAnne and Miss "L". You guys keep me inspired.  
  
Disclaimer: Do you really want a stuffed toy, blanket, and some phsycopathic alter ego's? Go ahead, sue me. (But seriously don't.)  
  
AN: Yea, I do realize this story is crappy but it's the second one I wrote..ever. My first one I still haven't finished. It's in a journal rite now.  
  
  
  
Always Chapter 1: The Yearbook  
  
Angel came in from patrolling and looked around. Gunn was talking to Wesley about various demons, Fred was reading a book that was one of Cordelia's, and Cordelia was on the phone chatting with one of her friends. Lor`n was working at his bar and he had said he would be there for a week. As soon as Angel dropped his bag Cordelia said goodbye to her friend and hung up.  
  
"So, anything new while you were patrolling?"  
  
Wesley and Gunn stopped to listen in interest. The last few weeks had been slow and they were itching for something to do. The demons had seemed to just pick up and move. It was strange even for them. Angel shook his head and Wesley, Gunn, and Cordelia's expressions fell. They were really getting bored. Fred laughed suddenly and when she noticed their expressions of question she said,  
  
"Cordelia's in this book and she's v.very dirty."  
  
Cordelia face was crunched up in confusion and a little hurt. She went over to see what she was talking about and laughed.  
  
"Don't worry, it's just my yearbook with the awful picture of me at the prom."  
  
Gunn spoke up confused, "Why were you dirty?"  
  
Cordelia chuckled again. "It was after slayer fest 99' and this evil vamp named Mr. Trick tried to murder the slayers with all these demons and he thought I was one."  
  
Gunn smiled at the thought of Cordelia and how she must have looked and then turned his smile to a smirk. He knew how Cordelia prided of her hygiene and how it must have killed her walking into a public place with her hair and make-up messed up. Wesley hid a smile and Fred mumbled something about the different degrees of dirt. Cordelia looked at Angel and instantly regretted the words she had said. Angel looked like he was ready to fall apart with the great weight on his shoulders. He murmured that he was going to go look for more vampires and practically ran out the door. They all stared at his retreating back and Fred asked,  
  
"What was that about?"  
  
Cordelia was about to answer but then got choked up. Wesley looking grave told her that Buffy was at the Slayer Fest. Fred nodded quietly and added a silent,  
  
"Oh."  
  
She had recently been filled in on most of Angel's past and found out about his and Buffy's relationship. It had only been a few weeks since Buffy's demise and Angel was killing himself in guilt over her death saying that he should have been there even though it wasn't his fault that he couldn't have saved her. Cordelia would have said something else about her yearbook when Angel came crashing back in through the doors. Gunn and Wesley got to him first and observed the situation while helping Angel to the couch. Angel had a crossbow bolt through his left shoulder.  
  
"It was a vampire attack. They just gave me this then left."  
  
He panted heavily and Wesley said that it would have to be removed.  
  
"I can help," Fred said. They all looked at her disbelieving but she only took defense. "I learned how to break arrows after my master in the other world shot the animals with the crossbow."  
  
Angel nodded and Fred broke out the arrow and Angel winced.  
  
"Thanks Fred."  
  
She nodded and went back to biting her nails. Wesley, Gunn, and Cordelia started badgering with questions but he suddenly felt very light headed and blacked out. 


	2. Chapter 2: De JA vu

(Rest in Chapter1)  
  
Disclaimer: ..:checking:: Nope, not mine.  
  
A/N: First of all thank you to everyone who reviewed. Also, a thank you for anyone who gave me suggestions or criticized my work. It helps me see what I can do better and it deflates my head so I can see the keyboard. You guys keep me sane and inspired! ~ Sincerely, *Crystal*  
  
And on to the fic! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Chapter 2: De JA vu Angel woke up and instantly saw two eyes in front of his face. He jumped up and growled a little at the pain that shot through his body. Fred yelped and jumped back her eyes wide and frightened. Angel calmed down as soon as he saw her.  
  
"Sorry Fred."  
  
She nodded and started to twirl her hair around her fingers. Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn came bounding down the stairs right after they heard Fred's yelp and came into the room seeing Angel was up. Cordelia walked over to the bed, "How do you feel?"  
  
"I feel okay."  
  
Then Angel noticed Cordelia's worried look.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Gunn, Cordelia, and Wesley all looked very nervous and Wesley answered, "Angel, we found out that the arrow had poison."  
  
Angel shrugged and said, "So what? It's not like it can hurt me."  
  
There was silence throughout the group and surprisingly Fred answered, "No, it can hurt you. They told me it hurt you before but you were helped."  
  
Angel looked confused; "This has never happened before." He trailed off as he realized what she was talking about. "Wow," he murmured, "De JA vu."  
  
Gunn spoke up, "Hey man, I know that your slayer helped you then by giving up some blood, but isn't there that other slayer?" Angel shook his head viscously.  
  
"No we're not bringing Faith into this."  
  
Wesley tried to talk, "But Angel she's the only way we can cure you and." Angel tried to get up but was pushed back down by Cordelia.  
  
"No we are not using her and even if she was alive, we wouldn't use Buffy." They were all silent and then a voice broke through the silence like glass.  
  
"Who say's I'm not?" 


	3. Chapter 3: Reuniting

Disclaimer: They belong to the god. AKA. Joss whedon. I wish I were him, except a girl. 'Cause many men are incompetent. (No offense to a lot of you its just I know some guys who I just want to hit sometimes.)  
  
A/N: All righty then peoples. This chapter is brand, spanking new. The last two chapters were written quite a while ago but I totally redid this one. I hope it's to your liking.  
  
Thank you's: Thank you sooooooooo much to everyone who reviewed. I decided when I get 2 chapter 5 I will answer all questions you have and I will make a list of people who reviewed. Thanks again! (Keep 'em coming) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 3: Reuniting  
  
Angel was astounded. Ok, astounded was the biggest understatement of the year. More like the world was exploding and he was to distracted to notice all of the "pretty" fires. Anyway, there was the object of his desire. His blond goddess, his Aphrodite, his Venus, his world, his.everything...and he was just standing there as if he was the world's biggest idiot.  
  
"B..buffy?"  
  
Buffy smiled, well, it was more of a grimace. "Who'd you expect? The toothfairy?"  
  
Angel shook his head in disbelief. "But, you're.you're..."  
  
"Dead?"  
  
Angel stared at her. "Yeah."  
  
Buffy shook her head flippantly. "Naw, I'm not dead. I mean I was dead but willow did her mojo and poof. Here's me."  
  
Angel could sense something was wrong in that sentence. It just didn't seem right. She seemed to brush it off and something in her eyes made his fear start to grow. Apparently, Cordelia noticed this too because she commented on it.  
  
"Buffy, not that I'm not extremely glad that you're back, but are you sure that's it?"  
  
Well, that did it. Weeks, ages, centuries started to show in Buffy's deep green eyes. She tried to keep her cool but Angel could already see a crack in her infamous armor. She tried to defend herself but her voice was too shaky. Eventually she spilled the beans.  
  
"What do you mean? Of course, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? I mean I come back from the dead and I'm perfectly fine right? No, It wouldn't be bad that I had to crawl out of my grave or c..come back f..from the most wonderful place." Then the tears started to fall. "No, it wouldn't be bad at all that my so called friends ripped me from where I was most happy and bring me back to this hell. No, No. It wouldn't be bad or upsetting that I nearly screwed spike because I'm so screwed up myself. Nope, Buffy's fine. She can deal with it. That's what they all say right? No, Buffy's fine even though she has to lie to her friends and tell them that she was in a hell dimension even when she was in heaven."  
  
Her voice dropped off at the end and she started too wobbly a bit. Angel leapt forward and then nearly collapsed himself from the shock of pain that went through his entire body. He had forgotten about that stupid arrow and the stupid poison. Damn, Buffy's friends, damn this stupid arrow, damn his slack concentration, and damn Buffy for thinking she was this strong....just damn everything. Buffy toppled over but Gunn was behind her by the time she collapsed. Angel was about to thank Gunn when another sharp pain went through his body and he blacked out.  
  
A/N: I'm sorry this chapter is so short but I needed to get the fact out of the way that Buffy was in heaven and that Angel's pain is getting worse. When I first wrote this chapter there was absolutely no angst and I have to remain slightly true to the story line! *wink. 


	4. Chapter 4: Consoling

Before I start this chapter thank you to Even who pointed out a mistake in my Latin translation. I tried to write words that wouldn't have a double meaning but I missed that one. Thanx again. Now on 2 the fic.(thanx r in the next chapter)  
  
Chapter 4: Consoling  
  
The first thing Angel noticed when he woke up was that someone else was in the room. He turned his head to the side and was surprised to see two people. Hmm. My senses must be starting to dull. (A/N: I decided to start writing Angel's thoughts in italics...sorry 4 any confusion) There stood Cordelia and Wesley talking quietly. Angel could tell that neither of them had noticed he was awake so he stayed quiet. He could just make out snatches of their conversation and he wasn't liking what he was hearing.  
  
..buffy..force him.  
  
.no, wait till she decides what to do..can't pressure either of them...heaven....upset.  
  
..dying...must save him...Buffy..dead...help her..sad...insane...trap...Angel...leave.  
  
Angel could make out all of this in his slightly delirious state. The basic gist of it was that they were going to see if Buffy would donate her blood and they would force him to drink. The only thing he couldn't understand was about the trap. Oh, well that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was Buffy getting hurt. They were the selfish ones now. They were going to hurt his precious darling and they were going to use him to hurt her. He couldn't believe his ears. He must be delirious. On the other hand if he did die then Buffy could go insane, but he just didn't think that his slayer could go mad. Break down, yes, heck even try to destroy him, but never in a million years did he think she would break down. Could she? He must have made a sound of distress because Cordelia stopped in the middle of her sentence. She hurriedly whispered to Wesley and they both went outside. His head was clearing and so were his senses. He could here them both in the lobby. He wasn't going to let them or Buffy try to save him. He was going to die but they weren't going to know about it. Yes that's right. They would just believe something else entirely. So he quickly got up and started around the room. He searched for a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote letters to each of them, telling them not to worry and that he had had a guide come to him in a dream, delaying his demise, and showing his path to his cure. Indeed when he had slept one of the dead oracles had come to him saying that his shanshu was about to come true but he had to find the way. He couldn't see how this was possible at all. Since he refused to drink Buffy's blood and no one had ever found another cure how could he expect to be cured? So he continued with his letters to his "family" each one more painful then the last as the realization that he would never get to see these people again sunk in. He would never see them move on, marry, have kids. He would never see them age and eyes shine with wisdom and youth when their skin was pale and their hair gray. So when he came to Buffy's letter he paused but then continued. He worked for several minutes agonizing over the final copy but was finally able to figure out what to say. It went like this..  
  
My dearest Buffy,  
  
From the day we first met up to this very second, I have loved you. In fact, I have loved you from the moment I have set my unworthy eyes on you in this City of Angels. How ironic huh? But of course everything is ironic when it comes to us? When we had our first kiss, we knew our love was doomed. How could it not be? We were both slaves to our emotions. Our night of blissful lovemaking was turned against us into heartbreaking experience that can never be forgotten. I never blamed you for.displacing me to destroy Acathla. In fact, I was always proud of you for that feat. It tore me apart to come back and to see that you had moved on, but then I saw that you really hadn't. When the first came and tried to destroy me you saved me. You saved my heart, my soul, you saved me from forgetting that I had to fight although it was painful. The predicament with Faith only strengthened our bond and though I believe that it has had its high's and lows, it has still held strong. When your mother came to me and told me that I couldn't, shouldn't be with you it made me realize a few things. Don't be angry, she helped me open my eyes and see what a mistake I was making. Forcing you to stay out of the light, and so I tried to make you stay away. To keep my emotions at a distance. Prom came and we broke up. You didn't understand though. When you said that you wanted your life to be with me and I said I don't, I meant that I didn't want you're life to be with me. I will always love you. When graduation came and then the poison, like now, forced me to drink from you it showed me the end of your demise if I stayed. I didn't want you to get hurt. There were the other incidences with Faith and Riley. Faith was just trying to reconcile and although you may not understand that she is still trying now. You should go see her again. Riley's gone so I won't talk about him although I have an undeniable feeling that I screwed that up too. Don't think about me if I don't make the journey. Although I have high hopes that, I will come back. I will always be there for you. Just like at your mother's funeral. She's still watching over you now. I know she loves you and just wants what's best for you. I will always love you and I want you to move on if I don't come back. Please, you don't have to forget about me or our love, but try to live. Remember our love. I will. Proumquam, ut est universitas cuspis.  
  
Semper, Angel  
  
Angel finished his letter and sealed it in an envelope. He left the other ones on his desk and packed a small bag of essential items that he needed. He had changed his mind as he had written the letter. No longer was he going to die. He was going to find the cure if it was the last thing he ever did on this earth..and it might as well be. With new determination, he honed his senses to find where Buffy was. He went throughout the hotel hearing some voices in the lobby. He stopped and his senses told him to go to a room down the corridor. He paused before the door and then opened it as quietly as he could. He saw his blond beauty sleeping quietly where someone had gently set her down. He put the letter on her pillow and gently kissed her forehead. He turned to her window, which was conveniently located right next to a fire escape. He climbed out of it and turned once to take another look at his beloved. He didn't notice her stirring as he turned around. He only said one thing to her.  
  
"May venia exsisto vestri rector quod spes fulsi in vestri vita. Bonus nox noctis meus carus. EGO mos usquequaque diligo vos." With that he turned and went quickly down the fire escape leaving his love forever. He walked a few blocks when suddenly a fist came flying at him and hit him in the face. Emotional stress, physical pain, and his barley conscious state made him black out. A figure stepped out into the streetlights clutching a letter. Remains of tears could be seen in tracks on her face and she started to tear up again.  
  
"I'm sorry Angel but you can't leave. Not when I love you so much."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rough translations from Latin to English (I tried to find a Gaelic translator but I couldn't find one):  
  
Proumquam, ut est universitas cuspis -Forever, that's the whole point.  
  
Semper -Always.  
  
May venia exsisto vestri rector quod spes fulsi in vestri vita. Bonus nox noctis meus carus. EGO mos usquequaque diligo vos. - May grace be your guide and hope shine in your life. Good night my beloved. I will always love you.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So.what do you think? I myself believe that this is my best chapter yet. It's also very long for me, which makes me happy! I believe Drusilla must have eaten someone with speed in their veins. (Drusilla is my muse/alter ego who is incredibly insane) I swear, two chapters in one night? Actually 4 hours? ::Shakes head incredulously:: Oh well, maybe I'll take a tiny break now. I might have to start using my brain for stuff like school. ::Shudder:: Chow 4 now! 


	5. Chapter 5: Blood

Aaaaaaaaannnnnnnndddddddd we're back. Yes peoples. After my short break from this story we are back on track and ready to write. I'm feeling a whole lot better! (even though I had a coughing fit in the car and in the middle of science class) As promised I have a thank you chapter here. I'm not sure how long this chapter will be considering I'm writing it right now but I'll try to make it long. K? Anyway, here are the thank you's;  
  
CrazyDru: Can I thank you enough? One of my best reviewers from the beginning! I realize that chapter 4 has translation mistakes but we'll just use our imaginations and pretend that's how the language goes. Thanx!  
  
Tariq: I totally love you. Seriously. You were my first reviewer and I have had nothing but inspiration from you. Keep it up! Thanx a lot!  
  
Dezi: I promise this won't be too depressing but sometimes it will get angsty. But thank you for reviewing!  
  
Emmy-el: Another one of my first reviews I really appreciate it! Totally keep on reading! Thanx!  
  
Queen Boadicea: Thank you for your constructive critisism and keeping my head only minimally inflated. You keep me grounded and writing! Thanx!  
  
Valerie: ::Looks around:: There were googly eyes? Where? Oh well, anyway thanx 4 the reviews!  
  
Jess: Thank you for your reviews!  
  
Kit: I love your reviews! The first one cracked me up! (::Crystal's friend Krysten runs onstage:: "It doesn't take much though!" ::Crystal glares at Krysten and runs her off stage::) No, but seriously here, thank you sooooooo much!  
  
Even: Thanx 4 telling me about the lead- lead(metal) thing. I fixed that but then CrazyDru pointed out some more messup's ::glares jokingly in CrazyDru's direction:: Thanx 4 the tip!  
  
anmr69: Thanx 4 ure reviews! I was positively delighted when I saw your review! Thanx!  
  
To the person who did not put their name on the review: I totally appreciate your review! Next time put your name on it so I can shower you with thanx!  
  
Now on to the fic! Kudos to whomever spots part of a Titanic line.~Crystal (O! By the way; New quote of the day: But where will the penguins live if we drink all the water? Ok.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 5: Blood  
  
The first thing that came to Angel's mind when he first woke up was that he really had to stop blacking out. Next, he could barely think at all, as a fresh wave of pain hit his body nearly causing him to black out. Damn it! (thoughts) Just as suddenly as it came it was gone and he felt a warm sensation running down his throat. After realizing what it was, he pulled back with great difficulty.  
  
"No..." His voice was so weak Angel could barley recognize it as his own. The next thing he heard was so beautiful. It sounded like a sweet melody played just as one was falling asleep. It pulled at his mind and cleared his muddled senses a little.  
  
"Just drink. It's alright. It's not human I promise." Angel couldn't resist as the smell of blood filled his senses and he gave in to the temptation. It's not human, It's not human. It was all he could think of. For some reason the thought of blood sickened him. To a point where he almost wanted to throw up. It tasted so good but it was so dead. A plethora of dead cells once used to push life through a being. To make it think. To make it move. To make it live.  
  
With this last thought, Angel turned his head and the presence left his side. He whimpered a little before he felt a cool sensation on his head. He tried to open his eyes but everything hurt. Pain. Pain was all he could feel. He couldn't remember anything. Only blood, pain, and death. These unhappy thoughts caused Angel to whimper again and the sensation moved from his forehead, trailed down his face to his lips, then his shoulder, down his arm, and then settled comfortably in his hand. Hand. That's what it is. Angel could remember some things now. Feeling, besides pain, was coming back into his body. Light filtered in behind his closed eyes and he suddenly was very aware of his surroundings. He could remember. How did he get here though? All he remembered was that he was going to leave and he had written a letter. But to who? Why didn't he get to leave. Wait. More was coming back to him. He had been walking when he saw a fist. Who would hit him? Why wouldn't they want him to go? He was going to hurt someone. Someone who was a goddess, with honey-blond hair. Who was sweet, beautiful, and strong, yet at the same time tired. So tired. Just like him. How could- Buffy. It was Buffy. Buffy with the letter. Buffy who hit him. Buffy who he could hurt if he didn't leave now. He struggled to get up but found he was restricted to the bed. He became aware that he was chained to the bed. Soon the feeling of panic entered his mind and he began to struggle. He had to get out of here! Didn't they understand that he was dangerous? He had to go before he snapped or they did something to hurt his beloved. He had to go. He opened his eyes to see Buffy rush back into the room and run over to the bed.  
  
"Angel what are you doing?" She sounded worried and frightened and attempted to hold him down but he could feel the chains weakening.  
  
"I have...to go...to much pain..blood..there's too much blood..hurt...Buffy..can't hurt...must leave...hope..hurt Buffy!"  
  
Angel could see Buffy's eyes fill with tears and was slightly confused but then she got angry. Angry he could understand. He just couldn't understand sadness. Sadness hurt too much.  
  
"NO! Angel you can't leave! You'll die! Your fever is burning up and you don't have much time to..time to...you won't...." Suddenly all of her anger seemed spent and all there was left was a little girl. Just a sad little girl in a big bad world that was determined to hurt her anyway possible. A little girl who loved a very ignorant and wonderful little boy. A little boy who might die soon. "Angel I read the letter, and I know what you were going to do. I may not know you as well as I had or thought I did but Angel you can't leave! You can't leave all of them without their friend! Hell, you're more then a friend to them you're family! You can't leave you're family!" He voice had risen high during this point but once again it fell to a whisper so low Angel had to strain to here it. "You can't leave me." Silent tears ran down both their cheeks and Angel had a hard time speaking up.  
  
"Buffy you don't understand! I won't be able to control myself!" Buffy interrupted.  
  
"You did last time!" Angel was ready to come back.  
  
"I won't be able to this time! Not this time....not again. Buffy I love you! I love you! I can't hurt you! I would rather kill myself! I do want to be with you though! I would go to hell and back if it would let me be with you but I can't give in because this time I know I won't be able to stop! You read the letter! Do you want me to take that away? Take your life away? Do you?" Angel had trouble speaking at this point and broke off. He turned his head to the side as tears made their way in paths down his face.  
  
"I love you too. That's why I won't give up. Angel. If you don't agree to this then I don't get to go back to heaven." Angel gasped and looked back at Buffy who was now turned around. "I remember heaven Angel. I remember all of it. I remember being happy, I remember being loved, I remember being relaxed, I just...remember. I got my memories of heaven back right before I found your masterpiece. They told me in the dream that I came back for the sole purpose of delivering your redemption. Funny huh? The one person you claimed to love, that you ran away from and are running away from now is your redemption." Buffy smiled bitterly. "We would be a best-seller tragedy. Have you read that new book? The one where Buffy kills Angel? Or hey how bout that one where she makes him loose his soul." Angel winced visibly at her interpretation of their past. Buffy noticed this and plunged ahead recklessly. "Don't like that huh? Ok, well how bout the part where Angel almost kills her when she tries to save him, or the part where he leaves her because he loves her too much for her own good. No. You don't like that and neither do I but you don't see that we could end the story with the happily ever after instead of the tragic ending. We could have the last laugh at fate. No Romeo&Juliet for us! We got the fairy tale ending. The final chapter where everyone's happy and the prince and the princess get married in the setting sun and ride off on a tall white horse. Or we could have your ending. Where everyone's miserable, the main hero dies, and the other one dies either out of heartbreak or she kills herself. I don't want that ending Angel! I want my ending to be with you when I'm an old, old woman lying warm in her bed. That's the ending I'll get if you stay." She paused to let it all sink in and then she jumped into the deep end headfirst. "So what ending do you want Angel?"  
  
Angel sat there for a minute just absorbing. Then he started studying her face. After what seemed like ages, he sat back. Buffy nervously looked from his comforter to anything else in the room except for Angel. Then she felt his hand slip in hers.  
  
"I want the fairy tale ending."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
O.o! So what'd ya think? Huh? Huh? C'mon, I don't bite! Well.. unless you make me mad. But tell me anyway! 


	6. Chapter 6: Fear

Disclaimer: If you've read the past few chapters then you know they're not mine 'cause do you think the networks would allow this? Nope.  
  
A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated but I have sooooooo many tests 'cause of the break coming up and it was a really busy week. Thanks to whomever responded to my rant and everyone who reviewed the last chapter of this story. Also, anyone who reads the New Case that story will be updated either next weekend or this depending if I get time, but not during the week. I'm going to take down the first apology 2.  
  
Dedication: My English teacher ('cause that's what I'm in right now), Kit, Queen Boadicea, and SaffronAngel(I'll read your stories today). Thanx 4 raising my spirits guys!  
  
And on to the fic!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 7: Fear  
  
Fear.. That's all Angel felt and could feel. Fear of hurting Buffy, fear of loosing control, fear that he would give into his demon. It consumed him. His every thought was morbid and dark. Thoughts about blood and pain. Pain that he would cause. They had all found out researching for any other way to save him that he had to drink directly from Buffy and he had to take a lot of blood. This thought of blood led to other dark thoughts of fear. He felt like a little child in his bed at night, afraid that the monsters would grab him if he moved or tried to get out of bed. Monsters. He was one of them and he was still scared. Why did I ever agree to this? Angel shifted in the bed. I bet I can still leave if I ran. I know it would hurt Buffy but I could hurt her physically, maybe even kill her! Then I could move on to killing the rest of my family. Reveling in their pain. No! I wouldn't do that! I couldn't! I just..don't want to hurt anyone. Angels brooding about what could happen if something went wrong was cut short as Fred entered the room. He met her eyes and what he saw there surprised him. He saw compassion and an undeniable deep feeling of sadness. Why should she feel compassion for him? A monster. Even if he wasn't a monster she still only new him for a few weeks. Could he really do that much to a person to make her feel for him? Not romantically but in a way that a sister would feel. I don't deserve compassion. Angel thought bitterly. Also, she was sad. Sadness he didn't understand. He continued to ponder over her and almost missed it when she started to speak.  
  
"I'm sorry Angel." Angel blinked in surprise.  
  
"What do you have to be sorry for?" Angel didn't mean it harshly but he truly didn't understand what she was sorry for. Fred shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"Well..If you hadn't spent your time saving me in Pylea then you could have saved Buffy. I'm also sorry that you have to go through this." Angel quickly understood that she felt guilty and was quick to reassure her.  
  
"Fred it wasn't your fault and don't ever think that! Buffy and I understand that we are in a dangerous business and that there are casualties even though we wish that we all could be safe. You're not just business either! You're a good friend and I can see that you'll be a wonderful ally if you decide to stay with us. Don't worry about Buffy and I. We'll be fine.." The change in Fred's eyes was extraordinary. Suddenly Angel was staring in bright and happy eyes with only a slight hint of worry. She jumped forward quickly and wrapped Angel up in a tight hug. Angel hugged her fiercely back once he got his bearings and then let go. Fred stepped back awkwardly and looked at her thumbs.  
  
"Sorry Angel but It's just that I never had many friends before. You're like a brother to me now and I would hate to loose you." Angel caught her eyes.  
  
"Don't be." Fred gave a small smile of her own.  
  
"The rest of the guys are out there waiting for their turn so I won't keep them waiting." With a happier presence then which she came in with Fred left the room and Gunn entered.  
  
"Hey man. Look, there are a few things I need to get off my chest before anything goes down. I know we never had the best start but I really appreciate everything that you did for me. You're a great man. When Lan..Lan..when my sister was turned you where there for me even though I didn't want you to be. That in itself is a debt that I still owe you. Even when I treated you like dirt you treated me with respect. Basically I owe you." Gunn stopped and waited for Angel to say something. Angel sat there for a little while just pondering. Then he spoke.  
  
"You are one of the best men I have ever met and that's saying a lot because I have met a good amount of men in my life time. You are courageous, loyal, and one hell of a fighter." Gunn chuckled and then waited for Angel to continue. "With Lana....I just wished we didn't have to kill her and that I could have been their sooner. You owe me no debt for anything. I treated you with respect because you deserved it, I don't." Angel could see Gunn was going to protest but Angel stopped him. "If you do want to repay me somehow..then I'm going to ask you for a favor. If something goes wrong then I want you to kill me. Buffy can't because it would destroy her, Cordelia couldn't, Wesley couldn't, and neither can Fred, but I know that you would be able to. I know it might be hard but I want you to. Can you do that?" Gunn looked down at the ground before answering.  
  
"Of course man. Although I wish it doesn't have to come to that." Angel looked back solemnly.  
  
"So do I." Gunn shifted from foot to foot as Angel stared at him.  
  
"Well man. Wesley's probably got his tweed panties in a bunch so I'm gonna leave. I really hope that everything goes alright." Gunn walked forward and shakes Angel's hand. "No matter what you may think. You are a great man." Angel smiled. He knew that Gunn would be able to live up to his word.  
  
"Thanks." With restored good feelings between them Gunn left the room and a certain British man entered.  
  
"Well, Angel. What can I say? You believed in me and my skills when no one else would. In the beginning I know that I wasn't as....respectful to you as I am now. I do realize that something may happen although I wish with all of my being that it does not. No matter what you may think you are a great man and I wish you the best of luck." Angel studied the watcher amusedly.  
  
"That's the second person who called me a great man today. Pretty soon I'm going to blush even though I have no circulation." Then Angel became serious. "You had and still have all the right not to respect me. Most of my actions aren't that respectful. I know that you realize that something might go wrong and if something does I want you to be able to stand strong. I already asked Gunn to stake me if my alter-ego may return." Angel could see Wesley let out a sigh of relief. He obviously didn't want to have to stake one of his best friends. *I wouldn't want to either.* ".so I'm asking you to stay strong emotionally if something happens. I don't think that either of the others will be able to."  
  
"Of course Angel, I will do everything in my power, though, so that we don't have to resort to that. I always will respect you if I haven't before. I would never have been able to ask someone to stop me if I was turned." He turned to leave and Angel smiled. *Another person with better feelings between us.* Wesley turned around and Angel listened to his parting remark.  
  
"Even though some of your alter-ego's actions and your human actions may not have been all that respectable. *Your* actions have never been anything but remarkable." Wesley turned around and exited. Cordelia entered just a second later.  
  
"Gosh. There is so much I want to say to you but I can't even put it into words. How do you tell someone that they have been the best friend or rather brother that they've ever had? Or that someone believed in you and your strength when no one else would. Or that a person has always been there for you when they were needed most." Cordelia stopped and took in a shaky breath. "How do you tell someone that you love them and that you would do anything for them? How do you tell someone that you're terrified that they'll die or worse? How do you tell someone that you're happy that you have another chance with the person they love? How do you tell anything to the most remarkable person alive?" Cordelia wasn't able to speak as tears cascaded in rivers down her face. Angel beckoned for her to come closer and she sat on the bed. He engulfed her in a huge bear hug and held her as she sobbed her heart out.  
  
"We still don't know if anything will go wrong so don't worry about that. You yourself are a remarkable person who risen whatever obstacles were put in her way. You're a sister to me. I never had a sister until mine was killed. By me which is slightly ironic. I probably loved her most out of my family which is how I feel about you. I will always believe in you and I'm happy that you gave Buffy and I your blessing. You don't realize how much that means to me. I love you sis." Cordelia sat back wiping tears off her face.  
  
"How do you know exactly what to say?" Angel wiped some tears off her face and hugged her again.  
  
"What can I say? It's a gift." Cordelia laughed through her tears. Not a small laugh but a joyous one not restricted with grief.  
  
"For my sake and for Buffy's don't screw this up! Okay?" Angel laughed as her her usual self shined through. Nothing could hold her back. He just wished that she would stay the same if something happened. Cordelia looked at him in mock annoyance.  
  
"Do you think I'm kidding mister?" She poked his chest. "This is serious!" She seemed to deflate a little and the worry was back in her eyes. "They told me to tell you that we are going to stay in the lobby with you and that we were going to do this soon." Angel looked at her nervously. Cordelia saw this and tried to delay his pain. "Do you want to talk to Buffy first?" Angel shook his head.  
  
"No we talked before and if I talked to her I wouldn't be able to go through with it." Cordelia nodded and helped him get out of bed. They walked down to the lobby where everyone else was waiting. He connected eyes with everyone and then he saw that Buffy was missing.  
  
"Where's Buffy?"  
  
"I'm right here." Buffy entered from the office with a book in her hand. She gave it to Angel without looking him in the eye. "It's for after. I want you to read it." Angel nodded, handed the book to Cordelia and looked Buffy directly in the eye. Nothing else was said between them for a few minutes. He examined her expressive green eyes and realized that anything that needed to be said they had already said to each other. He had written his letter before and anything that she wanted to say that she didn't she told with her eyes. After they were done they nodded simultaneously and looked at the rest of the group. The group spread out to the corners of the room and Angel saw that all the furniture was pushed out of the way and there were pillows and a mattress set up in the middle. The rest of the group turned around as if they were interrupting something personal. Angel felt a sense of De JA Vu for the second time since Buffy's return. She looked back at him and took his hand. He squeezed it and they walked to the center of the room. Buffy turned around in front of Angel and looked up at him. He looked at her for another moment and watched her expression as his face changed. She didn't flinch and slid one hand over his rigged eyebrow, down his bumpy features, across his golden eyes, over his exposed fangs, and finally settled it by her side. He slid his hands around her waste and she picked her arms up and put her arms around his shoulders. Angel bent down to her lips and kissed them once. He placed light kisses over her face and down to her throat. He pushed her hair back and kissed her neck and then softly bit into her skin. He felt a slight resistance before a warm liquid entered his mouth and then he drank.  
  
  
  
I know you probably hate me right now for stopping right there but I want to save what happens for the next chapter. It describes what they see and feel. Tell me what you thought of this chapter! Gosh I'm tired. Damn tennis drills. I hope you liked this! Chow 4 now! ~Crystal/ the insane one (he he he crysta) 


	7. Chapter 7: Memories

Disclaimer: ::blink:: You have got to be kidding me.  
  
A/N: Thanx once again to all who responded about the flame (especially anonymus who didn't want to be the voice of wisdom but was anyway). A sequel for this story is in the works (in my head of course)! This is going to be the last really angsty chapter and then it has minimal fluff from there! (I don't like stories w/2 much fluff-as my friend Crysta put it- running in the meadows picking flowers.) There will be at least 3-8 more chapters. This chapter also holds some buffy p.o.v.  
  
A/N 2: This story won't be updated until next year because right after Christmas we're going to Disney World (YAY!) and I probably won't have time 2 update. I'm really sorry! I wish you all a happy and safe holiday! Please remember to not drink and drive (if your of the age or under). We were shown crash pic's of drunk drivers hitting pedestrians today in health and they made me sick to my stomach so please keep safe, smart and have a great holiday!  
  
A/N 3: (I know don't you all hate me by now?) I'm sorry but I forgot to mention major apologies to all who read the new case but that won't be updated till next year either because I'm really tired and I MIGHT write only a little of ch.3 tom. Ok!  
  
And on to the fic. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 7: Memories  
  
  
  
First, all Buffy could feel was pain. It seeped through her pores and down into her nervous system and into her muddled mind. It was screaming through her blood and all she could feel was fire and ice slicing through her veins. A fatal fire that could destroy cities and whole worlds; burning them to an ash. *Ashes, Ashes we all fall down....* Buffy thought bitterly. *Down is the only place we can go....down..down...down.* Buffy's head lolled to the side as the fire was quenched and freezing rain that turned into a deadly ice came pounding down on her from every direction. Every where she tried to turn it would sting her eyes and rip at her skin. There was no way out of the storm. She had to get out! She would die! Die all alone..but death was good wasn't it? Wasn't it where she was happy? No, she wasn't happy. That was also why she came back. It wasn't just for...for...who was she trying to save? She couldn't remember.  
  
Nameless faces passed by her in rows. Sad, happy, terrified, joyous, angry, complete, screaming faces. She knew them, yet she didn't. None of it made sense. She was being ripped apart! She was going to die like this. Alone with no one to care, no one to remember. Remember what? Then they came pouring back. All of her memories of time long forgotten. Time seemed to slow for each second and she was living time backwards.  
  
She was older..22 she guessed. She saw herself in a handsome mans arms crying. Why was she so sad? Then 21 and with a young girl crying and herself, stone faced as she lifted a sheet off a table with someone underneath. A woman lay underneath with blond hair and a sweet face. Someone who cared. Then she was 20 and joking around with some friends about a..demon? Too late, she was back to 19 with a young man kissing happily in the bright sun. Yet, she didn't seem complete as if she couldn't, wouldn't give herself to this man completely. 18 came and she was standing in front of a gigantic demon, taunting it. Soon she saw a girl her age. She saw herself fight with the girl and then stab her. She saw the look of hurt, betrayal, and pride in the girl's eyes. *She wanted me to stop her.* Buffy realized. *She didn't like the way she was, what she had become. Faith...that was her name. My soul sister.*  
  
Then she was 17 in the arms of her love consummating their relationship. The two seemed happier then any other people she had seen. It was heart- wrenching that they had no idea what to come. She tried to warn them but then she was 16 sitting in the library with an older man, a young redhead, and a dark haired young man. They all seemed so very happy. Untouched by the darkness that would plague their lives. Untouched by fear, doubt and insecurities. Untouched by the pain of heartbreak and by bad choices. Untouched mostly by the darkness that would consume their lives in a few short years. Years that seemed like decades at the same time.  
  
She wanted to protect their innocence and happiness but she was too late. Another year passed and she was 15. She saw herself kill her first vampire and when she was called. She went through all the rest of her years, grieving over lost innocence. She saw herself at 12 and her first kiss. 9 and getting her braces on. 4 and she could tie her shoes. 2 and she could walk. 1 and she said her first word. Each year she was happier. She was happy in her innocence of the future and what it held. She lived through her baby months and then there was a short darkness as she switched to another, earlier, life.  
  
She lived countless ages and lived through different people all of them girls. Not just ordinary girls but powerful girls. In other words they were slayers. She saw their lives, their deaths, and their every thought. Each of them had painful lives with painful histories. Most of the chosen were forgotten in the sands of time. Buffy saw how they each mourned to be remembered, to live on in spirit. She went backwards into time. She saw history being created, being destroyed. She saw civilizations rise and then fall into the abyss. She saw people die and people live. She saw democracy, progress, inventions, art, music, writing, beliefs, until she could barely stay conscious of the thoughts running through her mind. Colors mixed together and finally everything stopped right before she was about to go mad. She saw a bright light, reached out to touch it, and then the darkness claimed her.  
  
Angel couldn't see the thoughts running through Buffy's mind and wouldn't be able to understand them if he tried. He saw from the moment he was born to his first few years. He saw his wonderful mother and his happy life. He saw how he rejoiced when his sister was born. He saw his idolized father become a bitter man. He saw the pain of his life and how it was. He saw the darker days of when he started going to taverns and enjoying women, and then he saw the darkest day of all. His death.  
  
He followed a beautiful evil into an alley where the embodiment of his failure changed his life forever. He lived through the pain of that night and when he first crawled out of a grave. His years sped up but he lived each one thoroughly, he lived in himself as he killed countless numbers of people. Blood, fear, and anger were like an elixir to him. He reveled in the pain he caused. He destroyed lives, homes, cities, and sometimes civilizations. He saw it as an art and perfected torture. He watched in horror, shame, guilt, and in pain, as he was ecstatic in stalking young girls and raping them. He saw himself commit countless acts that caused so much pain. It was all coming at him like a freight train unable to stop. Unable to stop when it had to keep going....going....going......gone.  
  
He rammed into all of his pent up feelings head on. He felt immense joy, happiness, rapture and then anger, pain, and guilt. The emotions raging through him tore his mind apart like a raging sea. It seemed calm at first but then whipped up to a terrifying frenzy unable to be sedated. He was briefly animalistic, as he couldn't grasp any straight thought. He tried to grab on to something, anything that would keep him sane.  
  
In his delirium, all he could come across was a poem, a children's lymric really. It talked about the plague and people dying but it was all he could think of and he chanted it in his mind over and over and over again..  
  
Ring a-round a Rosy,  
  
A pocket full of posies,  
  
Ashes! Ashes!  
  
We all fall down.  
  
And down he fell. So far down. Down through the sky, the atmosphere, through land, sea and water, through more land, through the crust in the earth, and then to the burning core. The burning core that ate throughout his skin and through his muscles. Down through his bone and then finally it attacked his heart. His heart amazingly didn't burst though, or give in. It resisted and wouldn't give in to the blaze. He fought bravely and then everything came back. His heart beat new blood through his new veins. He recreated his bones, his brain, and finally his skin. Old heart, new body.  
  
He felt renewed, refreshed somehow. As if all of his past was washed away yet it was all still there. Deep inside him with wonderful memories and horrible ones alike. When the blaze tried to touch him again and scorch him, he felt a presence protecting him, defending him. He tried to find his savior and he looked everywhere but he realized he had to open his eyes but he couldn't.  
  
He couldn't realize why he couldn't open them when he realized that he was in his own way. He had to forgive himself to be able to see his savior. He went through his memories again and in what felt like ages and at the same time seconds he decided if he was allowed to forgive what he did. He thought about everything. The past, the present, and the future. He analyzed every direction before he finally decided that he was ready to forgive himself.  
  
He prayed with every fiber in his being to be able to have the power to forgive himself. He felt the soul helping him, guiding him and then he was finally able to forgive himself. He opened his eyes in time to see the blaze dim and the heat vanish forever. He turned and he saw a light, he reached out to touch it and fell into darkness, but this time, it was a comforting one filled with promises of true happiness.  
  
He awoke to find himself in a large green field dressed in loose white clothing. He felt something guide him, not the presence from before, but something slightly holier. He was led past trees and land, past meadows and rivers. He must have walked for miles but felt neither tired nor even slightly downtrodden. On the contrary, he felt light and airy, filled with a peace he never knew existed. A true peace that only comes when your touched by something holy. He finally stopped at a brook and stopped to see a beauty rise out of the water.  
  
She stopped in front of him and stared up with expressive green eyes. He somehow knew that they were meant to be together and that they had always known each other even before time began. She ran a soft hand over his face and lips and then kissed him so lightly on the mouth he barely knew if she had kissed him at all. Then she spoke in a melodious tone that would remain in him forever.  
  
"Vos es redemptor Angelus. Ago in pacis." She stepped away from his and was about to go into the water but he stopped her and went up to her.  
  
"Don't leave me again. I won't be redeemed without you. I will always love you Buffy, my love, my life." He had never seen a more joyous smile on anyone's face then he did then and he was slightly guilty that he was going to stop her luscious mouth from doing that for a while. All thoughts of guilt vanished from his mind as his lips touched hers. There were no fireworks behind the eyes but there was a sense of joy, happiness, and completeness that filled both of them and made their souls rise together past any earthly obstacles and towards the heavens. Joined together in unity. They were truly soul mates now.  
  
When Angel opened his eyes after slowly pulling away, he became aware of his surroundings. He coughed violently and threw up blood but he knew in his mind that it represented all "bad blood" from past ages. He smiled and through back his head in a full laughter. He was redeemed completely! He looked down from where he was kneeling and saw Buffy lying unconscious at his knees. Thoughts of happiness vanished from his mind when he saw she wasn't breathing.  
  
Panic overtook his mind and he started CPR. He waited, tried, again, waited and tried again. *NO!* His mind screamed. *She can't be dead now! Not now!* He frantically kept trying CPR until he felt a hand lay on his shoulder. He turned weeping to a pretty brunette who he felt was a sister. Cordelia he remembered. Three other figures stood behind her in silence and he recognized each of them. Fred, Gunn, and Wesley all seemed to be relieved that he wasn't evil but they seemed somber too. They refused to meet his eyes until Cordelia spoke.  
  
"Let it go Angel. She's gone." Angel whipped around at her and advanced on her angrily.  
  
"What would you know! She's not dead! She can't be! She just can't." As quickly as he was angered, he broke down into heartbreaking sobs. He turned to Buffy and looked at her angelic face. A heavenly smile rested on her lips and he looked at where here eyes should be open, smiling, and full of life. They now were closed, devoid of any life. He kissed both of her eyes lightly. *She's still warm..* Angel mused before he placed a final kiss on her lips. She was too good for this world. I have my time here and then I can join her. He turned to the group and smiled at them.  
  
"She's gone to where she belongs." Suddenly he stopped as all their eyes widened. He heard a sound behind him and turned slowly. He stopped in his tracks as he saw his beloved move. He moved over to her and helped her sit up. Tears of joy streamed down both of their faces and they murmured exchanges of happiness and love as they placed kisses on each other's mouths. The others stood in awe at the miracle that took place. Then Buffy stopped what she was doing. She looked in awe at Angel's eyes and then looked at her hand on his chest and back to his eyes.  
  
"Your alive!" Happiness was resurrected in full and everyone ran over to grab both of them and show their happiness to everyone in the room. The light illuminating their faces stopped every demon that tried to destroy their happiness that night. Nothing could stop them. Nothing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is slightly revised because people told me that the run on paragraphs distracted them from the story. I also revised some of the parts that I didn't like. I hope that this is more to your satisfaction because it is to mine!  
  
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The latin sentence in this chapter said (roughly!!!): You are redeemed Angel. Live in peace. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Don't worry kiddies! This isn't the end! I still have to explain what happens in sunnydale when Buffy, Angel, and co. come home. Lot's of explaining there and THEN there's the ending. I'm expecting about 3-8 more chapters so don't worry! Tell me what you thought of this chapter please! I wrote this all in one night and Drusilla will be very angry if you don't respond! Happy holidays!~Crystal 


	8. Chapter 8: Content in Happiness

Disclaimer: Am I a 30-somat year old balding man who likes to torture peoples emotions for fun? Nuh uh, didn't think so.  
  
Hello Darlings! Did you miss me! Once again, I apologize for the delay but here I am! Back and ready to write after many exams! I also started some other stories while I was in class that are quite interesting. One is AU b/a (of course) and one is this other...one. yeah. I get to go to the Swirl tomorrow! Yes! (it's a dance) Anywhoo, I'm glad to be back in full force and I won't delay you today!  
  
A/N 2: I had this story up Friday but it didn't show up on the BTVS section so I'm reloading it. My computer's been all screwy so that's why it probably didn't show up, but I did write this Friday night. Thanx for your patience and your reviews!  
  
Dedication: Of course to all my wonderful reviewers and to my evil twinsy, Crysta! I luv ya! Hey Earl! I found her! (walks in) I fouuuuuuuunnd you. (in a hick voice) ah some great times. The HIIIIIIILLLLLLLLSSSSSSS are AAAALLLLIIIIIIVEEEEEEEE with the sound of music. And then at that exact moment an unconscious Argentinean fell through my ceiling followed by a midget dressed as a nun. RRRRooooxxxxxxaaaannnnnnnee. Dun dun dun. Pink elephants! Ahh! My eyes! I'm blind! But look how nice you smell! (then with nicole) Until..until you DIE! (to all who don't get that don't worry my friend wasn't threatened...not really anyway) ~Crystal  
  
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Chapter 8: Content in Happiness  
  
  
  
When Angel awoke this time, he didn't feel any pain. In fact, he felt quite the opposite. Ecstatic....joyus....deliriously happy. Anything could be said to what he felt as long as it was positive. Sure he had some worries but he was too content to even think about that for the moment. He would worry later. A movement caught his attention and he turned to smile at the sleeping beauty next to him. Buffy snuggled deeper into his embrace and he tightened he grip around her protectively. He leaned down and kissed the crown of her head. She must have felt it because she leaned her head up to his. He captured her lips in a gentle kiss and then sat back. She opened one eye and looked at him groggily.  
  
  
  
"This is a nice way to wake up every morning. We should meet like this every day." He smiled happily at her and shook his head slightly in mirth.  
  
"Buffy, it's the middle of the afternoon." She smiled fully awake and sat up.  
  
"Morning, afternoon...what's the difference?" Angel cocked his head in mock concentration and with the cute puppy dog look that Buffy loved.  
  
"Hmmmm. I don't know. Maybe a couple hours?" Buffy through a pillow at him and started to get out of bed. Angel frowned at this shift in attention.  
  
"Where are you going?" Buffy looked at him playfully.  
  
"I'm taking a shower. Is that alright with you?" Angel growled jokingly.  
  
"Come back to bed." Buffy shook her head.  
  
"Nah. We have a lot to do today and don't think about joining me because you know we'll never get anything done." Angel's face pulled into a deeper frown and he turned on the hurt puppy look.  
  
"Please?" Buffy laughed but turned around.  
  
"We seriously have a couple of things to do and I feel that we should probably do something rather then lump around in the bed." Angel growled slightly again but relented, choosing to relax and watch Buffy with her mourning ritual.  
  
"What are we going to be doing that's so important to you?" Buffy voice floated back from behind the door.  
  
"Well, first I was thinking that we could go to the park and walk around a little and just enjoy the day. Then I was thinking that we could have a nice picnic on the beach that you were so obsessed with me having." Angel frowned again.  
  
"You know I just wanted the best for you right? I just didn't want you to spend your whole life waiting for something that just didn't seem possible." Buffy stepped back through the door wearing his robe.  
  
"I know. I think I understand what you were trying to do know. It doesn't mean I agree with it but it was good for us. We needed time to grow up and mature. Try out new things, see new people, and have time to ourselves. We were growing too dependent on each other. The only thing I probably regret besides the heart wrenching break-up in the sewers is probably the fact that we didn't keep in touch as well as we should have. Now you have your own family separate from mine." Buffy looked down thoughtfully, tugging at the comforter. "It almost makes me think that we grew too far apart." Angel tilted Buffy's face up to meet his and gently kissed her lips.  
  
"Don't ever think that. I love you and I know our bound will grow stronger just because we are learning new things about each other. I think your right about the fact that we needed time apart, but I don't think that we grew too far apart. Also I think that in time our family's will combined and then we'll have to have one of those old-fashioned type family receptions each year with the uncle that never grows up and the successful aunt and then the other actress aunt. It will all work out in time. You'll see." Buffy smiled gratefully at him.  
  
"You're right. What am I looking at the glass half empty for? We have a long life ahead of us. Just you and me and our wacky family." She leaned her head on Angel's chest and closed her eyes. Angel leaned down to whisper softly in her ear.  
  
"And maybe some time along the way we'll have some new additions to the family." He squeezed Buffy gently and let her go as she went to go take her shower.  
  
~Later~  
  
Buffy and Angel walked out of the Hyperion Hotel after saying their good-bye's to each of the "family." Everyone who saw the happy couple smiled and held their own sweetheart's hand. As Buffy and Angel went around town, they stopped to observe an elderly couple who were with a numerous amount of grandchildren. Angel noticed Buffy looking at them slightly glazed eye.  
  
"What are you thinking?" Buffy snapped out of her reverie and looked at him admiringly.  
  
"Do you think that could be us one day? Old and happy, surrounded by grandchildren, obviously still in love?" Angel smiled and took Buffy in his arms.  
  
"I think that one day we'll be the happiest people in the world. I know that I'll be the happiest man in the world just because I'm allowed to love you. I am now too. Your beauty is like a flower, elegant and beautiful for all to see." He pulled out a rose from behind her back and tucked it into her hair.  
  
"Your eyes are like shimmering emeralds found within the deepest depths of the earth. Dangerous to get to but far worth the effort." He pulled an emerald bracelet out of his coat pocket and put it on her wrist. She looked at it in awe with its beautiful gems, diamonds, and silver setting. She looked back up to him and he spoke again.  
  
"Your mouth from which the voice of angel's flow and satin silk covers full lips." He kissed her mouth gently and looked at her.  
  
"You're body from which the strength of goddesses ebbs and the grace of aphrodite can be seen." He took out a necklace and hooked it around her throat. It was identical to the bracelet and was beautiful thought not as beautiful as his words.  
  
"Finally, your soul. As brilliant and as warm as the sun, you shine through the darkness. You are my light, my salvation, my goddess. You helped me through my darkest troubles and saved me time and time again. You never led me astray and believed in me when no one else would. You have a strong heart of diamond that never gave in and taught me how to love. You truly are my redemption in every way possible." Angel took out the last box from his coat pocket and he opened it.........  
  
Inside was the most gorgeous ring she had ever seen. It was a claddagh ring with the heart of diamond and it was on a band of silver. The rest of it was encrusted in a few other diamond and emerald jewels. Buffy put a hand to her mouth in shock. Tears of happiness ran down her cheeks. Angel looked at Buffy admiringly.  
  
"We've never had the most traditional relationship so that's why I'm not down on one knee but I think that part of that has always made us stronger. I believe in us, in our future. I know we said we were going to go more slowly this time but I have been waiting to do this since I stood with you that night on the docks. In Irish custom we're technically already married but I want it to be official in every way possible so.." He took a deep breath.  
  
"Elizabeth "Buffy" Anne Summers, will you do me the honor of being my wife?" Buffy stood there a few moments before jumping into his arms and kissing him with a sizzling passion filled with pure love.  
  
"YES! YES! OF COURSE! YES!" He leaned down to whisper in her ear.  
  
"I wanted to tell you that this is the first claddagh ring I gave you. I found it in the mansion one day and decided to keep it. I knew someday I wanted to give it to you no matter what so I asked them to customize it with diamonds and emeralds. On the inside you'll see that it says *Forever, that's the whole point.* Buffy smiled at him through tears and saw that what he said was true. She was about to lean back into his embrace when he started talking again.  
  
"I think I have to put this on you know." She stepped back and smiled again as he slid the ring onto her left finger with the heart pointing in, where it belonged. Suddenly clapping broke out and the newly engaged turned to see that a small crowd had congregated around them. Many offered their congratulations and Buffy caught the eye of the old women who winked at her. Buffy smiled and took Angel's hand as they walked off to the beach to have their picnic. The old women sighed happily.  
  
"Ahh. Young love! A beautiful and most romantic thing." She took her husbands hand in hers as they went off to return their grandchildren to their equally-as-happy parents. The two walked off with their kin walking behind them.  
  
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So what'da ya think? I kinda like it. It's sorta how I would want my future husband to propose to me. I know its fluffy but I believed that you all deserved it. Especially with all the B/S and A/C that's going on. Seriously, I think that I'm going to get all Drusilla on the network's arse if they don't do something soon. I walked out of the room while Angel was on the other day because I couldn't stand the flirting.  
  
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I also wanted to point out to my teacher that one particular line (Try out new things, see new people, and have time to ourselves.) In which I did use parallel structure! See! I do remember stuff from your class! Seriously though, I love ya, although I could beat you up. I swear I found out that my teacher weighs LESS then me! That's something to lower your self-esteem. Nah, she's cool. Although tiny. 


	9. Chapter 9: The Ride Back to Reality

::Pops out from random place in the audience scaring half of the readers watching...er..reading.watching.something:: HELLO!!! Major apologies to all who have been waiting or thought this story was done. No its not done, never will be done, and you will all bow to my wishes! MUAHA! ::pause:: I said that outloud didn't I? Oh, well. I'm back and ready to write! So! With the end of vacation and 4 teeth pulled out let's get started shall we?  
  
Disclaimer: ...Yes. I own them all. Every single one. ::wakes up:: Damn, dreaming again.  
  
A/N: Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers! I love you all! I'm hoping this chapter uploads with out as many problems like last time, knock on wood! Once again, I'm sorry for the delay, I was sick, and then I had writers block, and then...yeah. Ok.  
  
Onto the fic!~Crystal  
  
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Chapter 9: The Ride Back to Reality  
  
Angel walked up behind Buffy and placed his arms around her shoulders.  
  
"Are you sure you're okay?" Buffy nodded quickly up and down and turned around gazing at Angel in a half crazed, half frantic way.  
  
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I mean, I'm going to Sunnydale to tell my friends, who are my family, that they pulled me out of heaven, I left them for a while to go see my vampire ex-boyfriend, who is now human, and now we're engaged. Who wouldn't be nervous?" Angel drew Buffy into a tight hug. At first, she was tense but then she relaxed into him. She sighed in his embrace.  
  
"I'm just scared that they're going to be upset with me and never want to speak with me again. I know that they love me and only want me to be happy but I would be upset with me too." Angel tilted Buffy's chin up to look into her eyes.  
  
"Buffy, I'm sure that they're going to forgive you. Plus it's not as if you're the one with the only fault here too. They're the ones that pulled you out of heaven. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, in fact it's going to be hard and difficult and things are going to be said that are very painful." Buffy punched him lightly in the arm.  
  
"Way to inspire the troops, general." Angel smiled softly and kissed Buffy gently on the forehead.  
  
"You didn't let me finish. Even though things are going to get scary, I will be one hundred percent behind you; Along with the rest of the guys, but they'll be a little farther back." Buffy chuckled slightly and looked over to where Cordy was directing Gunn and Wesley with her luggage.  
  
"No, Wesley! The red bag goes next to the black one with my initials on it! Seriously, can't you do anything right?" Wesley put down the luggage with a huff and glared at Cordelia.  
  
"I hardly think it matters if you have your shoes and the rest of your accessories in the same car. Why are you bringing all this junk anyway?" Cordelia looked at him with a glare that explained why she was called the Ice Queen in high school.  
  
"I'll have you know that this isn't junk! It's all the clothing and accessories that I've gotten since I've been in LA. I need to show a certain ex of mine back in Sunnydale how far I've amounted in status." Gunn looked at Cordelia incredulously.  
  
"The only thing that's amounted is Angel's credited card bill." Fred and Wesley started laughing and quickly tried to cover it up. Angel looked hard at Cordelia.  
  
"Speaking of. Did you ever pay me back for those shoes that you got down at the mall." Cordelia looked at him like a deer caught in headlights.  
  
"C'mon people! We don't have time to dilly-dally! Move it, move it, move it! Hup two three, hup two three!" Everyone got all luggage tucked into the cars and last minute checks were made. Once everyone was all set the got into their cars and set off. Cordelia was in the back of Angel's convertible with Buffy in the passenger seat and, obviously, Angel driving. In Wesley's old car Gunn sat in the passenger's seat and Fred sat in the back.  
  
Back in Angel's car, Buffy was nervously glancing at the outside surroundings. Angel noticed this and slipped his hand in Buffy's. She looked at him almost pleadingly and he smiled at her.  
  
"Don't worry everything's gonna be fine." She smiled at him as best as she could and went back to looking out the window. A voice came out of the back.  
  
"Sure, everything will be fine. Ya know, after you have some huge fight where you say a lot of things that you don't mean and you have to start from scratch with your meaningless friendships." Angel glared at Cordelia in the rearview mirror; Cordelia saw this and put on a glare of her own.  
  
"What? I'm only saying what she already knows!" After more glaring Cordelia gave in to a moment of compassion that seemed to becoming more frequent with her.  
  
"I was just kidding Buffy. You're a great person and Xander and Willow and the rest of the Scooby gang don't realize how hard it is for you. But I will be there for you because I'm a different person then I used to be..We'll I'm trying to be and that's the main point. Don't let whatever that jerk Xander says or anyone else get you down." Buffy turned slightly around to smile softly at Cordelia.  
  
"Thanks a lot Cordelia. It means a lot to me." Cordelia smiled back.  
  
"Anytime. Well, not anytime but close to anytime." Buffy just chuckled and turned on some music to drown out Cordelia. Although she meant well, she sometimes spoke before she thought, but she had a good heart. Angel continued staring at Buffy until Cordelia brought herself to his attention.  
  
"Ya know Angel, if you keep staring at Buffy like that we're gonna get into an accident and I, for one, do not feel like dying. Eyes on the road loverboy." Angel shot Cordelia one last mocking glare before turning his eyes to the asphalt. They drove the rest of the way in silence with a few random conservation starters that fell dead. There was an anxiety in the car that could be sensed and each was left to their own thoughts.  
  
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Later..  
  
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Angel pulled up to the curve of the Magic Shop and stopped the car. He sat there in a moment of silence before looking over at Buffy. She was staring at the glove compartment with all of her muscles tense and her hands clenched into fists. Even Cordelia was silent for once, most likely contemplating what was going to happen next. They waited until Wesley's car pulled up behind them and Angel touched Buffy lightly on the shoulder. She jumped a little and looked at him with anxious eyes. Angel gazed back at her with a passive face.  
  
"It's time to go in Buffy." She looked at him a moment longer before nodding and opening the car door. Car doors were slammed and locked. They all grouped up in a V formation, with Buffy and Angel at the front, Cordelia and Wesley on either side of them slightly behind, and Fred and Gunn slightly behind them. Angel heard Buffy inhale a large amount of breath and took her hand. They started towards the door and only paused to open it. The bell jingled lightly and all the inhabitants of the store looked up at the door.  
  
Anya was behind the cash register, counting the money that she had made so far. Xander was on the other side of the counter, his voice trailing off and Buffy saw his gaze harden in shock and then anger. Willow and Tara were sitting at the table levitating a carrot, and Dawn was watching them. Giles was sorting through the merchandise making sure everything was in order. All these tasks were soon forgotten, as they became aware of the group in the doorway. Xander was the first one to regain his bearings and he was not happy when he did.  
  
"What the hell were you thinking Buffy? Running off like that? You scared us half to death, and then you run back to you're little ex lover? What? You couldn't confide in us? No, you had to go running back and go crying to Angel." Buffy would have been able to defend herself if this wasn't exactly what she had been thinking. Angel opened his mouth to speak but Cordelia beat him to it.  
  
"You know what Xander? Shut up." Xander was about to protest but Cordelia would have none of it.  
  
"No. You don't get to speak. You wanna know why? Because you don't deserve to speak. Buffy has been through hell, nearly literally, and you are on your self-righteous high horse and aren't gonna come down. You know absolutely nothing what went on in LA when she was with us and you have no idea what was going on in her head before she even came. So you have no right to speak before you hear everything. So sit down and shut up. That goes for all of you too."  
  
Everyone stared wide-eyed at Cordelia and Xander sat down slowly. Cordelia smirked proudly and straightened to her full height. Buffy seemed to have gained some confidence from Cordelia's speech so she straightened up herself. She motioned for everyone to sit down and she herself took a seat next to Angel. She looked each one of them in the eye before speaking.  
  
"She's absolutely right you know. You never knew what happened when I was..gone, and you still don't. Before I explain what happened, I want you all to promise not to interrupt me before I'm finished. Not a word!" As they each nodded Buffy took a deep breath and then started.  
  
"Ok, the first thing that should probably be said is that I was never in a hell dimension at all." She saw Xander was about to interrupt so she held up her hand for silence.  
  
"Please Xander? You promised." Xander relented and she continued on with her story. She told how she was, or thought she was, in heaven and she told about how she felt when she found out that she was ripped out and was on earth. She explained about what happened up to the point where she couldn't take it and decided to leave for LA, knowing that she couldn't talk to anyone else because they would just get upset. She explained about saving Angel and him turning human. She explained about them being redeemed and how she had faced death yet again. She told about her engagement and deciding to come back home. Tears poured out of everyone's eyes and a multitude of emotions ran through each one. Anger, pity, guilt, and a deep underlying sadness seemed to be the majority of the emotions but there were others. Happiness and joy was a rare emotion to be found but when it was it was extremely precious.  
  
When she was finally finished, everyone sat in a few seconds of silence. This time the first to react was Willow who walked up to Buffy and looked her in the eyes. They just looked at each other until Willow let out a great sob and pulled Buffy into a tight hug.  
  
"I'm so sorry Buffy! I didn't know! I didn't know! I didn't know.." One by one, each of the Sunnydale gang stood up and joined in the group hug. It was during that time that Buffy realized that even though they had a long way to fixing up old scars and new ones, they were definitely heading in the right direction.  
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So! How did it go? Did you like? C'mon! You can tell me! Please! Ok, I hope you like it! And I'm sorry again that it took so long! ~Crystal  
  
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	10. Chapter 10: Windows to the Soul

I'm bbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacccccccckkkk! Whoo-hoo! Wow. It's been a pretty long time; many apologies! And now my good friends! We have the ch. Thank you's!  
  
Kasha/Crazy-Dru: Thanks for your reviews and always keep second-guessing me! It keeps me on my toes.  
  
Tariq: Thanks for the reviews! Always very inspiring for me! And once I am done with more chapters I will start working on the ideas you gave me.  
  
Dezi: Don't worry, there will be no killing Buffy..unless people stop reviewing. ::insert evil chuckle here; points to random point around the room::  
  
SaffronAngel: Thanks for stating the comment about keeping the story close to the timeline. I try my hardest to stay close to the show's ways of doing things. I thank you for the response about the flames too! Much appreciated.  
  
Dezra Lothiual: Thanx for the inspiration! Now get your butt moving and start on finishing LOTR2! Peaaaaaaaase?  
  
Crysta: Thanx for reviewing! I would review yours but I get halfway through the chapters and then I fall asleep! Great writing but you need to make the chapters SHORTER! A strange request for any author but..  
  
Kat: I'm especially glad that you don't write flames. Flames suck. Grr. And see! I finally updated! Woot.  
  
TK: Thanks for reviewing!  
  
AnOnYmOuS: Thanks for supporting me and being the mushy-voice-of-reason even when you didn't want to be!  
  
Lily Folsome: Thanks for reading!  
  
Shadid: Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Megan: Dude, you're awesome!  
  
Isabellafaerie: Thanks for the review!  
  
(notice they get shorter as I go on?)  
  
Nadia: Aww, it's always nice to see that my story actually has some sort of impact! Thanks!  
  
Kellyanne: Thanks so very much asylum-buddy!  
  
Dan: Um..as your little sister, thanks..a lot.  
  
Daughter of Death: Thanks for the review!  
  
Disclaimer: I wish, I wish...I hadn't killed that fish. He he he. Srry, wanted to say that. Don't own 'um, so don't sue.  
  
A/N: I also just wanted to mention that you people should really listen to the song My Immortal by Evanescence cause it is one of the best I've heard in a long time. KK. On to the story. Oh yeah, Happy Easter and happy vacation.  
  
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Chapter 10: Windows to the soul  
Buffy walked quietly on a sandy beach as the warm glow of the setting sun faded behind night's dark curtain. As a gentle pink faded into orange and then to a fiery red, she stood there, watching nature at its best. A gentle wind caught at her skirt and danced across her face. There was a serene peace that she hadn't felt since she had come back from heaven. She spotted two ducks with their tiny ducklings trailing behind them swim gently in the calm ocean. The ocean.  
  
It was so very beautiful and at the same time so very deadly. It could be whipped into a screaming frenzy or pull a desperate creature into it's murky depths. She walked along the surf and let the ocean's cool water slide over her feet. The sky kept on changing. The deep red turning into a velvet purple and then finally into a dark blue. Just as the first stars came out a pair of arms wrapped around her middle and she smiled slightly.  
  
"You missed the sunset." She turned to meet a pair of dark chocolate eyes. Even though there weren't many of them at the moment, the emotions in them were so powerful that Buffy felt as though she would be lost in their depths like falling into the ocean's depths. Never to be set free, but almost complacent to be enslaved.  
  
They had the power to mesmerize and to be mesmerized. They both took in emotion and emitted their own. It was easy to see how eyes were very much the windows to the soul. As far as she could see, this soul in front of her was very beautiful, very passionate, and not just in lust. No, passion could be for anything. For love, obsession, or even just in a normal everyday thing. Like raising children, working, or saving the world.  
  
Right now, that very passionate soul, with it's very passionate eyes, was telling her how much it loved her and cared about her, and wanted her to be happy. Sometimes when she woke up she was surprised that anyone could even look at her. Someone who had been rejected from heaven. It still hurt to be reminded of the calm she had felt compared to this harsh world. The complete peace she had felt with everything was ripped away, leaving her open and bleeding.  
  
Fortunately, the pain had receded to a dull ache and even that was soon leaving because of this wonderful man standing beside her. She suddenly was very aware that while she might have felt peace she didn't think she had felt heaven. Heaven was here. With the one she loved. The one who was now speaking.  
  
"I don't need to see it."  
  
"It was very beautiful."  
  
"You're very beautiful. If I need something beautiful to look at I only have to look at you."  
  
She briefly wondered how he always knew exactly what to say, exactly what she needed to hear. He probably saw her soul too. In her eyes, her windows. She questioned what someone would see there. Would they see a warrior that had faced the darkness and fought as hard as she could? Would they see a broken girl who just wanted to be loved? Or maybe they would see an angel.  
  
A fallen angel that had been struck down one to many times, and was struggling to get to her knees. Who had faced horrors, life, and too much pain and was silently suffering. Who couldn't face the world without wondering what pain it was going to slice her with next. Wondering when it would let her rest.  
  
The Angel standing next to her couldn't know what she was thinking, but saw the hurt in her eyes and his heart silently broke. It broke for this young woman who, in many ways, was still a child that had been forced to take off the veil of innocence far to early in life. He silently cried out of the unjust treatment on this innocent soul.  
  
He wondered why a world that strived for peace would always destroy the innocent one's first. Children starved on the side of streets. Babies were killed before even taking their first breaths. Toddlers were killed by drunk drivers or abusive parents. It was a wonder that the world was even able to thrive at all.  
  
He thought with trepidation of the inevitable fate that this world would hold. It would definitely destroy itself before the end. Resources were being destroyed, land blown up, pollution choking the air. Wars were being waged, people killed, lives destroyed, and all in the name of peace. Through violence, there is only more violence.  
  
This knowledge was probably one of the reasons why he became the Scourge of Europe in the first place. In his own twisted way he was saving innocents before they were destroyed by the world and its cruelty. Now he knew better. He knew that no matter how it happened, people faced the world everyday and it made them stronger. Sometimes though, the world was a bit too difficult to deal with. It's probably why Slayers have somewhat of a death wish. After a while, it just becomes too much. He himself had almost ended it all.  
  
He would have succeeded too, if it weren't for a tiny blonde angel that became his savior. She had pulled him back from the tantalizing darkness and into the safety of the light. Sometimes the light was bright and painful, but it could be warm and comforting. He didn't think that she would ever know just how grateful he truly was. She had saved him in every way possible. She had also been his damnation, but to her, so had he. He had kept her from the light she deserved to be in. From the light that was so very much a part of her. That's why he had left, but now that he could walk in the light it didn't matter anymore. Now, he could walk beside her. Hand in hand.  
  
He slipped his hand into his tiny savior's hand and he pulled her away from the night, from the darkness. Then slowly, and very surely, they walked. They walked throughout the whole night, throughout the harshness of the world, through the end of innocence, through the murky depths. Even when their feet were killing them, and they didn't see the point in going on anymore, they held up their heads and kept on walking. When one slipped or stumbled, the other held them up from falling. They walked until the sky slipped from night's curtain and from blues and purples to golds and yellows.  
  
Until the sun's first rays broke the horizon and they started back to their home. It was as they were heading back when it suddenly occurred to them both that the sunrise was more beautiful then the sun set. That the beginning of life and of a birth of a new day was more precious then the end of world and the death of the day. They also thought of how easy their journey had seemed now that it was so worth it. With a new determination, and a new passion, they walked through life, and the new day, together, as one.  
  
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THIS IS NOT OVER YET!!!! Do not despair!  
  
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Tell me what you think! This chapter didn't really have a large purpose except show what was going on through the heads of the character at the moment. I hope you enjoyed! ~Crystal 


	11. Chapter 11: The Wedding

Hello everyone! Before we get started for the long, long, long, LONG anticipated Ch.11 of Always I have a few notices. First, due to an utter extreme sadness of the fact that Buffy is over (alas! Do not despair! SMG said she would do some Angel shows!) it has taken me a while to summon up the write-for-hours feeling when I first started this....Does this mean that this is the last chapter? Sadly, yes. But it is the last..for this story. Yes, after this ch. There is no more. But I will still write other stories and you can expect (very soon) to have major updating on the New Case. Along with major revision. Second, A major thank you to all who have given me feedback throughout this story! If there is more we might be seeing a sequel in our midst. Hint, hint. Thirdly, thanks for waiting! =)  
  
Dedication: To you all. Sniff, I'll miss you!!!!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: No. They are not mine. They belong to a man who makes us fall in love with couples/characters and then violently rips them apart or kills them off. Sigh. Poor Anya. Poor Jenny. Poor everyone.  
  
And with no more ado, the last Chapter of Always...~Crystal  
  
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Ch.11: The Wedding  
  
The day was beautiful and the temperature was perfect. There was a blue sky and white fluffy clouds dotted the sky, but not so much as to cover the sun. As the day went on there was a flurry of activity at the Summer's household. People rushed around making last minute arrangements and fixing little odds and ends around the house. The only one who wasn't acting like a maniac was a young blond woman who was currently fretting to much to even think about doing anything useful. Well, she actually was the one who was most insane at the moment. A young redhead was sitting there listening to her panic and was doing her best to try to calm her without getting her own head bitten off.  
  
"..What if he just leaves me there at the altar or he says he doesn't love me anymore. Or what if he decides that he loves Cordelia and runs off with her!" Willow interrupted and spoke cautiously.  
  
"Buffy, I'm pretty sure at this point that Angel won't leave you at the altar. That'd be cruel, even for him. Plus, how can you say that he doesn't love you! That man *died* for you! I think you'll be all right. And if he does decide that he loves Cordelia...well, I wouldn't blame him. She is cute. Bad tempered though." Buffy's panicked face softened a little bit.  
  
"That is true he does love me an...WAIT A MINUTE DID YOU SAY HE LOVES CORDELIA????!!" Cordelia popped her head into the room.  
  
"Did I hear my name?" Buffy stalked up to her quickly and pulled her roughly into the room and through her on the bed.  
  
"DO YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN STEAL MY MAN!? HUH?! DO YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE SO PRETTY THAT YOU CAN HAVE WHOMEVER YOU WANT? IS THAT THE WAY IT GOES CORDELIA? HUH? HUH?" By this point Cordelia was shaking on the bed and praying to the Power's that Be that she had her life when this was over. She was also cursing whatever God or Goddess that had made her enter the room. She was terrified. The Seer tried to speak and after making a few vowel sounds of nothing, she found herself getting angry.  
  
"Well, what if Angel DOES love me? I mean who wouldn't love something as pretty as me? Also, what right do you have that makes you think you can just pull someone's arm until they think it's going to come off and scream and their faces for doing NOTHING?" Cordelia ended her angry tirade and stood up. She got right into Buffy's face and her height made her look down at Buffy. NO one was going to intimidate HER.  
  
Buffy just looked up with eyes that were pure Slayer and held death for anyone who looked into them. She spoke quietly and dangerously and never took her eyes off Cordelia.  
  
"The same right that lets me kill things or people that annoy me." Cordelia had deflated a little but she wasn't about to give up.  
  
"You can't kill people! It's against the Slayer rules or whatever." Buffy got a purely evil smile on.  
  
"Oh, Cordelia, Cordelia, Cordelia. You of all people should know that one doesn't always have to follow the rules. Plus, when have I EVER followed the Council's or ANYONE'S, for that matter, rules?" By this point Cordelia was back on the bed, cowering. Intimidated now.  
  
Willow saw that Buffy was just about to kill Cordelia and although she sometimes liked to see the Prom Queen get some of her own medicine she thought it as about time to intervene.  
  
"Buffy, Angel doesn't love Cordelia! I was just joking to make you calm down more!" Buffy glanced at Willow before looking back at the cowering Cordelia.  
  
"Is this true?" Cordelia nodded furiously as Willow sighed.  
  
"Buffy, you've GOT to calm down! Angel is not going to leave you! He loves you, you love him, and you are both getting married at sunset!" Buffy took a deep, calming breath.  
  
"You're right Willow, it's just that I'm so nervous. Nothing in our relationship is smooth. It's mostly just one tragedy after another. Right now I'm terrified that we're in one of those tragedy times." Buffy sat down on the bed next to Cordelia. She looked at the Seer piteously. "Sorry for screaming at you. Nerves and all." Cordelia looked at the Slayer cautiously.  
  
"You're not going to bite off my head" Buffy shook her head and grinned slightly.  
  
"Not this time, but if you ever DO make a move on my man.." The dangerous glint came back to her eyes and Cordelia was quick to reassure her.  
  
"Note to self: No moves on Buffy's man. Check, got it." Buffy smiled sweetly at her. Cordelia felt like she had lost some battle so she had to find some way to get back at Buffy.  
  
"Angel definitely loves you Buffy. The only thing you have to worry about is demons crashing your wedding." Cordelia jumped up and ran out of the rooms screaming with Buffy hot on her heals. Willow just shook her head and followed to try to keep some semblance of peace and civil order.  
  
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In Xander and Anya's apartment...  
  
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Angel was currently pacing and making a hole in the carpet. Xander, Wesley, Lorne and Gunn were sitting there looking at him. Angel would stop ponder something for a minute and then start pacing faster. Finally, Gunn had had enough.  
  
"Angel man, you've got to stop pacing! You're driving me crazy." Angel whirled on him in fury.  
  
"Making you crazy?! I'm going to go to the altar and do you know what's gonna happen?!" Gunn shook his head, though whether it was in fear or in response, Angel didn't know..Nor did he care.  
  
"She's not gonna be there. She's going to leave me there like some idiot and she's going to run off with..SPIKE!!! Or maybe Giles!" Wesley shuddered at the thought.  
  
"Eugh. Giles is like Buffy's father! He's giving her away! That's just disgusting, and Spike??? Though he and Buffy may be friends she sure as hell isn't running off with him!" Angel stopped pacing and sat down next to Xander on the chair next to the table. He took in a deep breath and sighed.  
  
"I just love her so much I'm afraid she's going to leave me. Our relationship never was in calm waters." Xander sighed and went to get a bottle of whiskey.  
  
"Hey, I would give an eye to have what you and Buffy have." Angel glared at him. Lorne decided to speak for Angel.  
  
"Oh, so you WANT the heart-wrenching angst and the tears that Angel- cakes and Buffy have?" Xander just got five shot glasses and sighed.  
  
"Nah man. I'm talking about the love you have for each other. The love that binds you two together and has led you through hell and back. You've had your rough times (more glaring by Angel) but then you've had your sickeningly sweet times were anyone can plainly see how you two are soulmates and are meant to be." Xander sat back down next to Angel and handed everyone a glass. He poured Angel a drink, one for Wesley, one for Lorne, one for Gunn, and one for himself. They sat there in silence for a few moments before Angel spoke.  
  
"I never knew you for being deep Xander but that actually made a lot of sense." Xander wasn't sure if that was a complement or insult but he took it anyway.  
  
"Thanks dead bo-...Angel." They all sat drinking for a few minutes before Xander decided to lighten the mood.  
  
"Now all you have to worry about is demon's crashing your wedding." Angel groaned and banged his head on the table.  
  
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The beach...  
  
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Angel stood there in his white tux nervously awaiting his bride. The sun was slowly setting and he kept playing with his tie. He looked at the people who had showed up. There were their close friends but they were all participating in the wedding so they had had to find other people to sit in the seats. A suprising number of people had volunteered to see the wedding. Many of the people Buffy and he had saved were sitting there. He didn't recognize most on Buffy's side except Amy and a few other people. On his side, he was happily surprised to see Faith along with other people and, er, not so people. Faith had been released on parole for good behavior and was winking at him. He gave her a small smile before fretting over the events. Finally, the wedding march started and his head nearly got whiplash from looking towards the back.  
  
He nearly broke out in hysterical laughter when he saw that Cordy and Xander were the flower girl and ring bearer. Dawn was also a flower girl and was smiling brilliantly at everyone. All the bridesmaids(plus Dawn and Cordelia) were wearing a simple red sundress and all the males were wearing white tuxes. After Xander and Cordelia came Wesley and Willow. They were best man and bridesmaid and they were both beaming at Angel. Next came, Fred and Gunn, followed by Tara and Lorne. It seems the two of them had formed a strange kinship and enjoyed talking to one another. They weren't going to be romantically involved, Tara was very much in love with Willow, but they were very good friends.  
  
Suddenly all thought flew out of his mind as he saw the main woman there. She was drop-dead gorgeous and stunning in a corset style strapless dress and a tiara with a vale. Giles looked like the proud father he was as he walked his "daughter" down the isle. Angel subconsciously noted that Buffy was also wearing the jewelry that he gave her except that the emerald necklace was replaced with the silver cross that he had first given her.  
  
He snapped back to reality as Giles placed Angel's hand in Buffy's. He gave Buffy a quick kiss on the cheek and gave a manly pat on Angel's back. As he was turning he whispered quickly into Angel's ear with a voice that was pure Ripper.  
  
"Hurt her and I'll stake you, vampire or not." Angel quickly whispered back.  
  
"If I do I'll hand you the stake." He then turned his attention back to his beautiful goddess. He looked into her green eyes and didn't hear one word of what the priest was saying until he realized that everyone was staring at him. The priest cleared his throughout and spoke again.  
  
"The two have requested to say their own vows." Angel, embarrassed, turned his attention back to the wedding.  
  
"Buffy, first I have to say this. I love you. I will always love you. As this setting sun represents the end of the day, it also represents the beginning. The beginning of something new. The beginning of a new life together. Though I can't promise you it will be easy, I will be with you every step of the way. You have changed me in so many ways and all of them are for the better. In the beginning we were lovesick teenagers (A few chuckled at this) but we have both grown into extraordinary people with families who support us no matter what we do. Just knowing at the end of the day that I have your love with me makes me all that much stronger and able to resist whatever torture is thrown my way. Forever, that's the whole point." Buffy smiled at him and spoke.  
  
"I also, Angel, love you so much that my heart stops whenever I see you. Just not literally. (Angel chuckled) I don't think I could ever speak as beautifully as you just did but I'll try my best. Our love is like a rose. It is beautiful, passionate, but at the same time dangerous. It has been harder and I have no illusions that the thorns will be cut off now, but those thorns have made our skin thicker and let our love survive when it's attacked. When the rose finally wilts and dies I won't be afraid because I know that's just an earthly rose and our love is so much stronger then any plant or anything on this earth. We have a love that will never die and although we may, it will still be as strong as ever. I'm Always you're girl." By the end Buffy and Angel were crying and after the exchange of the rings, when they kissed there was salt in their mouths. The sun set behind them and a promise was sealed, Always.  
  
The End.  
  
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I'll miss you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sniff. Thanks again.~Crystal 


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